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hugthethug:

i want a book where the narrator speaks in beautiful language but then the characters talk like super informally like “as ignatius attempted to reclaim his breath, he let out a straggled noise allowing his struggle to be heard, thus inciting maria to speak. ‘yo wheezy, shut the fuck up,’ her silky voice broke the tension.”

dermythosdessisyphos:

wewillavenge-it:

nickiminiall:

isn’t it weird that we pay money to see other human beings?

Are you talking about prostitution, the movies, or airplane tickets?

glasses

deathbymorning:

eggsnogging:

in my senior drama class i had to play gordon ramsay for a film project but we could only film in school so we had to try to find a closed off room to use. the thing is the room wasn’t exactly soundproof and apparently someone heard us and that’s the story of how the vice principal and four freshmen walked in on me wearing a chef’s hat and yelling at my friend because her squid was so raw i could still hear it telling spongebob to fuck off

did you get an A

metaknighty:

dicksplit:

Straight guy: "Dude, i have a dope idea for a photo"

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embarrassmental:

narcotic:

what if people named their kids when they turn 18 so the kid has a name that fits its personality

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aphaustria:

aphdenmark:

aphaustria:

what do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise

what

lmayo

jaclcfrost:

but if a playground doesn’t have swings is it really even a playground. or is it just. a disappointment